When God Writes Your Love Story (Part 2)

More than two years ago I wrote "When God Writes Your Love Story" for The Beads (our parish newsletter) which I re-published here in Homegrown. Why did I even write such a piece?
I must say it took me a long time to heal from being abandoned with my child and to get over a broken engagement. Put that together and I think you'd end up to be a very bitter person. But, I drew strength primarily from my faith and my family and that's what really helped me keep a positive outlook on life. That despite all the mishaps and misadventures that I've been through, I always, always believed that things will fall into place when the time is right.

This is where I left off in the first part of this discourse -

And that is precisely the point of having faith in God. Leaving everything to Him. Yup, even your love life. It may take a while, it may not be the first guy who will show interest in you, may take more than a couple of guys showing their interest in you… God will weed them out for you because He has your best interest in His heart. Huwag magmadali! Hold out for the higher standard! And while waiting for Him to write your love story, it's better to transform your energies towards serving Him and serving others and, of course, spending time with your family.

But it is so hard to believe when everything seems to be going against what you are wishing for. And the path just sometimes gets harder to trudge. My perspective changed drastically after ready Bo Sanchez' "Finding Your One True Love". If you remember from my previous write-up, I mentioned that I stopped dating and I shunned any approach. With that book, I managed to define what I thought I needed and wanted. I even made a personal list. But, I am only human, because eventually I tried to open myself up again, however, things always did not work out. There was always somebody around, but that person always ran short of what I thought I wanted and needed.

I met and befriended one guy after another. I have so many guy friends now! But I eventually realized that I had to do my part as well. I had to heal. I had to work out the kinks in my life. I had to face my past and so I prayed for closure. I prayed to God to help me put everything to rest and that I may finally forgive, forget and start afresh. I even kidded myself that when everything has been closed then my "one true love" will finally come.

I remember a few months ago somebody sent me an email about my post on "When God Writes Your Love Story". He said that he liked what I wrote and said that, "At this moment, God is writing your love story". I believed him. I believed that things were soon going to fall into place. So, I kept myself busy with work and some service. Then the closures came one after another. The kinks were ironed out and I felt I was a complete person again. Ready to love.

My life was never a fairy tale for me. It's been more like an action-drama-fantasy-comedy movie with many characters and plots and sub-plots. But I would like to say that I got through it all because of my faith. Because I believed that God would navigate it to the right path. I just put my heart in His hands and allowed Him to write my love story. I almost slipped again and I'd say I've given up. I even welcomed the thought of single blessedness.

But in the most unexpected moment, the right time had come. My one true love finally found me.

Keep the faith! =)

When God Writes Your Love Story

Each and every month I get to sit down with one of our priests. It is so much a privilege to see their private side (mind you they could be really, really funny). Even though I'm busy with work, spending time with family and friends, I always look forward to spending an hour (that always stretches to a minimum of three hours) a month with our priests. I always stand in awe at how God worked in their lives. Calling them to their vocation. Believe me, becoming a priest as I have seen is no easy path to take.

So what does it have to do with the business of loving?

I was sincerely touched with Fr. Lito's revelation about his calling and the challenges he went through during his studies. He had no inkling whatsoever in his youth that he would become a priest. But through a book he read (“The Greatest Love of All”) he felt the “tremendous, overwhelming” love of God. Through Fr. Lito's sharing I felt it. I felt how much love God showed him and how this love made him overcome all the trials he faced before he became a priest.

And Fr. Lito faced one of the greatest challenges that a human could face choosing between his service and the love of his life. It was a struggle, but he overcame it because God loved him. I felt so sad then. I realized how hard it must be for our dear priests who had sacrificed that side of their humanity to serve God. And it is quite hard to fathom when you're just a lay person.

Which now brings me to another side of loving. The romantic kind of love.

Recovering from a broken engagement a few years ago, I came across this book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris. At that time I did kiss dating goodbye and when I came across the book at my favorite bookstore I thought, “Interesting huh!”.

The book didn't talk about not dating or falling in love. It put love in a better context, a better way of approaching it with all the hullabaloo about love in movies, TV etc. you'd tend to get really lost on what it is really. Joshua Harris shared that he gave up dating. He came to believe that “the lifestyle of short-term relationships was a detour from serving God as a single”. Huwhaaat?!? I didn't stop dating because I wanted to use my time to serve, I stopped because I just didn't want to get into a rebound relationship. But Joshua Harris stopped dating because he started to question how his faith affected his love life. “The main point of `I Kissed Dating Goodbye' was “If you're not ready for marriage, wait on romance.”” The book further explained that there's more to your faith and your love life than merely not having sex or dating only Christians.

It took a few months for the message of the book to sink in with me. I just went along my way, not dating, and became regular again in attending to my service through the Sun Valley Music Ministry. After a few months I came across Joshua Harris' second book “Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship”. Abah, naka-lovelife na si Joshua, I thought. So I got the book and became fascinated with what it had to say. With the first book it just basically said, “Don't date or get into a relationship unless your ready for marriage”. At that time the thought of getting married made me hyperventilate, so it wasn't any problem for me. But of course you got to move on right?

“Boy Meets Girl” bridges the gap between not dating and preparing for marriage. It's message is similar to the book “When God Writes Your Love Story” by Eric and Leslie Ludy. It answers the question, “So how would you know if the time is right and whether he or she is the one?” Both books are love stories written by the grace of God. In the kind of world we have right now it makes you think “How do I actually find someone who has the same values or the right values? How do I find somebody who's going to be like my Mom and Dad who's been married for 46 years?”

Both books espouse that you just have to leave the navigating to God. Leave your love life to God? What does He have to do with that? It is probably one thing that's difficult to just leave to God's Will because let's face it, we all want action. When it comes to this part of our lives, we want it immediate and siguardo. No room for uncertainty.

Bo Sanchez has a new bestseller in his book “How to Find Your One True Love”. It details steps on how to “attract God’s best for the single person”. Another must read book for single people (and I think even married people should read this to remind them about being with the right person). I think it is a life-saving book (as it claims) because it explains really well questions that single people have – mostly on why you’re single. But what’s great about it is that it outlines things that you should do. It takes a proactive stand and tells you not to wait for “the right one” to “fall off from the sky”. Very practical, straight to the point, be ready to get a whole new view on loving.

And that is precisely the point of having faith in God. Leaving everything to Him. Yup, even your love life. It may take a while, it may not be the first guy who will show interest in you, may take more than a couple of guys showing their interest in you… God will weed them out for you because He has your best interest in His heart. Huwag magmadali! Hold out for the higher standard! And while waiting for Him to write your love story, it's better to transform your energies towards serving Him and serving others (kaya mag-volunteer ka na sa The Beads! Hehehehe) and, of course, spending time with your family.

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Books to Read while you're waiting for God to write your love story (they're a fun read!):

I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris
Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris
Not Even a Hint by Joshua Harris
When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy
How to Find Your One True Love by Bo Sanchez

*This was originally published in the May 2006 issue of The Beads, newsletter of the Our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary Parish, Paranaque City, Metro Manila.