Shoooo!

“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”

- John Wooden

I never imagined myself to be in the limelight even though a manghuhula told me a few years ago that I have "stars" on the palm of my hand. He said I was destined to become famous and have great responsibility. My reaction then was just to giggle. I said, "Who? Me?" And I feared that it might come true.

That's why I hyperventilated (figuratively) for two months when I got my job. I cried when I arrived at the San Francisco Airport. And I was simply speechless for almost 3 months which made my boss think that I wasn't the person who went through the interviews. I was simply overwhelmed. My parents just taught me how to do good in my work and not how to handle "being known".

I still don't consider myself as "known". I still fear it because I do not want to change. I just want to be the girl-next-door, "the daughter of", the bungisngis, the nerd, Miguel's Mom, the Sweetie etc. and at the end of the day I just want to complete my mission.

`nuff said.

Keeping Awake

I have three best friends who keep me sane - there's Darwin, my soul's twin, Tappy, my soul sister and Anne, my pillar of hope. I don't see them that much since one is in Cebu, the other in Singapore and well my work brings me everywhere and it's quite hard to pin down meet-up dates. But they've been in my life for years now, most of my life and they know me best. Joys, pains, inside, outside, front, back, black, white, good and bad.

Tappy couldn't sleep the other night and wrote this about me:

I think she is always awake. Her eyes may be closed, she may be tucked in bed, but I know she is still awake. That woman has the talent of telling her mind and body to be awake at any time she wants it to. Which is why I am not surprised why she is able to do a million things in a day. It's amazing.

I unfortunately went to bed early that night and we were not able to chat. LOL.

Reading that made me pause and think. Don't I ever sleep? Don't I ever rest? Am I really always awake?

I guess so because I always have a gazillion things to do every day and even while I sleep my mind works. I strategize. I worry. I think about what I have to deliver. Goodness! I multi-task even while I'm asleep. That's why my parents get scared when I drive around, they know I'm thinking of something else while I'm driving.

Can I just add a teenie, bit here? - Someone who can make me rest.